surprise!

In my blog, “happy OLD year 2007!!” I wrote some down some things I look forward to in 2008. Here are a few I added-

9. Getting a new car.

10. Surprises.



Then, I summed it up with this statement: “So that's my annual review and forecast for 2008. I think the theme for 2008 will be: THE YEAR OF SURPRISES”.


Well….I have to say there HAVE been a lot of fun and creative surprises so far this year, but there is one I want to share that just happened yesterday. There are barely adequate words to express my gratitude.

I was given a car!!!

You see, my car died a few months back and I have been driving a loner around until I figured out what to do for a new car. In the meantime, God put it on a supporter of Compassion Network's heart to bless me with a car. Was I surprised? YES!

This car is just wonderful for this season of my life. I needed a reliable and safe car and that is what I got! It’s a 1992 BMW with a rebuilt engine that will go well over 300,000 miles. The best part is the guy it was purchased from is a Christian and has been the mechanic for the enitre life of the car. One owner, one mechanic! He said he would continue to service the car since he knows this car inside and out. A new car AND an honest mechanic- PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Since I have a hard time receiving gifts,, this was a very humbling experience for me. But, I am learning it is important to allow others to experience joy in giving and not to rob them of the blessing that comes with giving. Whew! I am still in shock! I give God all the glory!

Again, cheers to 2008:THE YEAR OF SURPISES!

May this be your best year ever!

Sorry gotta run, I am going for a LooooooG drive....yahoooooooooooooo! P.S. my car is silvery gray not the black one pictured!

fight for freedom

I know most people will not care so much about the the article below, but it is very dear to me. In 1993-4 I moved to Thailand and lived in a refugee camp along the border of Thailand and Burma. I was a missionary amongst the Karen people sharing the hope of Jesus, giving out medical supplies and clothing. With a dismal amount of hope and intensified violence in the camps, the Karen people were fighting daily for their lives. I spent many weeks trekking camp to camp with live chickens hanging from my back pack to bring hope to those the Lord put on my heart. Living in huts, eating beetles and dumping water over my head to clean myself was just a snapshot of my time there. The last camp I stayed at was the one mentioned below.

As evening grew dark in the camp, I sat by candle light with teenage boys and girls surrounding me in the dirt. Many didn't know how old they were or if their families were still alive. They had all fled over to Thailand trying to escape the brutality of the Burmese government. As we sat by candle light for hours (through translators) the kids asked me deep questions about why God would let this happen, what my thoughts on God were and what it felt like to be safe in America. These kids had NO concept of safety. My heart broke for them.

Interrupting our precious time, the camp doctor said we had to blow out our candles and get to our huts ASAP! Apparently, the Thai soldiers were switching shifts and we would not have protection for the night. It was well known that on these nights when the guards switched shifts that the Burmese soldiers would come in and make hits on key leaders.

Here I was in my young twenties full of relentless passion for these people, now fearful of my life. I laid all night in a ball praying for God's protection like never before. It was so dangerous that we were not aloud to go to the bathroom or move.

Before sunrise, our team (five students) was quickly ushered into a jeep and rushed out of the camp back to Chiang Mai. We reunited with the rest of our team (45 students) and thanked God for our protection. Sadly, the next day that same camp was burned to the ground, the doctor was killed and many karen children were left to wander around abandoned yet again. A huge malaria breakout occurred shortly after taking many more lives including the pastors daughter. It was a very sad and dark time for our team.

Through this experience, my life was changed. It was in this season of my life when I knew I would fight for injustice and live to help help others forever.

The news below is as real to me as receiving a letter informing me of a wounded family member. The area mentioned in the article is the exact camp I visited. I have photos from my time there and I remember it like it was yesterday. The struggle is still on. The Karen people are in constant survival mode to this day. We have no idea. No idea what people go through here in America land of the free. I had a hard few days and after reading this article I am humbled by the freedom I have, yet so often forget about. Pray for the Karen (KUH WREN) people. Most are Christians, yet are being killed daily because of what they believe.

As we were celebrating Valentine's day, the day of "love", this is what was happening in Thailand...

Burmese rebel leader is shot dead

The secretary general of Burma's largest rebel group, the Karen National Union, has been killed.
Pado Mahn Shar, who was in his sixties, was shot at his home in the Thai border town of Mae Sot, his family said.

He was targetted by two men in a pick-up truck, while sitting on the veranda of his home. He died instantly.

The KNU and its military wing, the Karen National Liberation Army, have spent nearly 60 years fighting the Burmese government.

They want to establish an autonomous Karen state in the east of Burma, and to protect the Karen people from what they say are abuses by the government.

Setbacks

KAREN STRUGGLE
The KNU, through its armed wing the KNLA, has been fighting for greater autonomy since 1949
The KNLA split in half in 1994, with the new group, the DKBA, making a pact with the government
The KNU and the junta reached a 'gentleman's agreement' in 2003, but it quickly broke down
The Karen are just one of many ethnic minorities in Burma. Much smaller rebel groups still exist in the Shan, Karenni and Mon states
Despite their fighting spirit, the Karen rebels have suffered a number of recent setbacks, including political splits and defections to the government.
Militarily, they have been driven further and further back towards the Thai border.

However, Pado Mahn Shar told the BBC last year: "Whatever happens, we cannot surrender.

"If the government won't offer us a proper peace settlement, we have to carry on fighting."

The BBC's Kate McGeown, who met Pado Mahn Shar on the Thai-Burmese border, says his death will be a serious blow to the Karen rebels.

As it is, they face a huge challenge against the Burmese army, which is vastly superior both in terms of numbers and equipment.

Analysts said it was not clear who was behind the shooting.

It might be the result of rivalry within the Karen rebel movement, Burmese expert Aung Naing Oo told the AFP news agency.
Thai police said the gunmen approached Pado Mahn Shar and addressed him in the Karen language before opening fire.

But what the KNU really feared, Aung Naing Oo said, was that the Burmese government might have ordered it.

"Everybody is terrified that there could be a hit list from the Burmese military circulating around Thailand of people to be killed," he said.

Pado Mahn Shar had himself predicted an increase in bloodshed, telling Reuters this week that violence might rise ahead of a constitutional referendum in Burma in May.

good for the soul

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much". Mother Teresa

I read this today and once again I totally resonate with Mother Teresa. This woman was the real deal!

I read another quote on my tea bag the other day that went something like, “Success is not determined by your accomplishments, but by the obstacles you overcome”.

Can I get an AMEN?

Have you ever felt like when you press through one obstacle another one is right there waiting for you? Maybe it’s just me, but I believe life is always going to be full of obstacles so either we learn to persevere or become stuck in one place our whole life.

“But remember that the temptations (obstacles) that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give into it”. 1 Corinthians

This verse is so convicting to me. I think, as a culture, we give in way too easy. We forget the power available to us if we would only resist our will and its fleshly desires. Remember this verse is a promise. IF we stand up against each obstacle, HE WILL reveal another way to us. Sounds easy right? Then why is it that sometimes I don’t want to see the other way?

As I marinate in this verse it has become clear that everyone on the planet will have obstacles, no doubt. The only difference lies in our reaction to the obstacle before us. The person who STANDS against the obstacle, God will reveal another way. Sometimes we are directed around, over and even through obstacles. God knows what we can handle and he knows what he can trust us with. There have been times in the past when I was certain I would not be able to make it through a situation until I remembered that God would NEVER allow this to happen if I couldn’t handle it. The best way to handle it is to say, “God I have done what I can do and I need you to do what only you can do now”. These desperate cries have proven fruitful.

A person who is seduced by temptation may miss the divine revelation of a truly faithful God. There are promises all throughout scripture, but this is one that can bring life and strength to the feeblest of heart.

If you have a huge obstacle right now, God must trust you. Do you trust him? Maybe the real obstacle before us is the one we see in the mirror.

Happy OLD year 2007!


In reflection of the year past, I truly can’t begin to communicate the growth in my life on so many levels. The image I get in my head every time I think about last year is one of me sitting in front of six plates of eggs all cooked a different way. As I entered into 2007 one week I would love scrambled, one week over easy and on and on and on. Being consumed with so many lives through the years, I forgot what I like, what is important to me.

So, 2007 was a year of exploration and consideration. I spent a few moments jotting down some things that were woven into my life and forever will be a logged into my memory bank.

1. I joined a softball league. What the heck? I would drive by and see the lights and people cheering and I thought it would be cool to tell my kid some day. I survived that humiliating experience and have no regrets other then to inform you that I will never be a professional softball player. Sorry.
2. I decided after many years to go back to college and finish a few classes I “pushed aside” when I was in my degree program. They came back to haunt me in my sleep, so I decided that this was the perfect season to tackle them so I can pursue graduate work at Berkley in social work. I finished my history requirements and actually fell in love with history. I almost decided to begin pursuing graduate work in history, but was advised not to. * sigh *
3. Traveled to Portland, OR (twice), WA, PA, CO
4. Read 96 books much lower then last year due to school work * arg *
5. Moved ZERO times unlike 4 x’s last year!!! Yahoo!!
6. Took 2 raw food workshops
7. Live shows: Tainted Love, Mute Math (2 times), Chris Tomblin, Matt Redman, Phil Wickham, Switchfoot, Paseo Padre, Mauve, Drey Reeder, Everyday People, Cheeseballs, Matt Nathanson, Fiest, Delta Spirit, Ingrid Michaelson, Music in the park, Carvel, Shane and Shane and more I am probably forgetting.
8. Saw CONAN in SF!! He winked at me!
9. Went to Mac Expo in SF, pretty cool.
10. Went to 7 KFAX events and worked the world vision table by default and fell in love with the kids and Africa.
11. Spoke at 3 women’s events- awesome!
12. Gave 46 Compassion Network Presentations- I have been found giving them in my sleep.
13. Gave 1 Human Trafficking Presentation for my history class
14. Went to IJM and Not for Sale Events to research if this is something I want to advocate for.
15. Went to 9 conferences to learn everything from how to eat healthy, intimacy with God, spiritual formation, healing, intercessory prayer, missions etc.
16. Was a part of 5 major compassion projects in our city-truly amazing year.
17. Moved into my new office in the government building downtown and launched Compassion Network (soft launch, hard launch is in 2208)


This year was overall progressive. I feel it has prepared me to really embrace all 2008 has to offer.

Some things I look forward to in 2008:

1. Expanding the scope of ministry through Compassion Network. I think we made a dent in 2007, but that was just the tip of the iceberg on what our CITY CHURCH (over 70 individual congregations working together in unity) can really do to specifically address the neediest people and touch them tangibly with the love of Jesus. Other then being in an environment of prayer and worship there is NOTHING on the planet I would rather be doing at such a time as this.
2. I would like to finish my last two classes this semester and finalize if I want to pursue a graduate program.
3. Go to Zimbabwe and then come back and advocate for the people and needs here in America. (child soldiers, sex slaves, forced laborers, kids suffering with PTSD)
4. Rallying the youth in the bay area to get involved through compassion action.
5. Dust off my rock climbing gear and dance shoes.
6. Take a few cooking classes specializing in sauces.
7. Meeting a wonderful man to partner with who has similar vision, compassion and melting heart for God. I finally know what kind of eggs I like.
8. Spending more time with friends and watching some of my friend’s babies grow.
9. Getting a new car.
10. Surprises.

So that’s my annual review and forecast for 2008. I think the theme for 2008 will be: THE YEAR OF SURPRISES

Although, all those accomplishments and activities above sound great, nothing is as important to me as Jesus. Nothing I do or am involved in will ever compare to Jesus. Everything else is meaningless.

Cheers to a YEAR OF SURPRISES, I look forward to sharing next year all the creative ways these surprises were revealed!!

innocent expectation

As I sit here early on Christmas morning my brain has been silenced by the sweetness of a love far beyond what I can grasp. Jesus entered our rugged world as a soft little baby. He entered into history for a time and caused a revolutionary wave that we are still feeling today. Jesus is still making history.

I love how Jesus came as a baby. It shows the innocence and sensitivity of God. I think the story of Jesus would be so different if he entered history as this reckless warrior-like thirty year old. Just picture how people would have responded. He may have been rejected all the more and written off as arrogant, forceful or void of need. But, the author of the story knew this delicate baby boy would be taken as an offering and a gift to humanity. Jesus entered the world in a position of need, yet all along possessing the power within to fulfill our needs. THAT IS POWERFUL! This revelation shows me there are times of need and times to help others in need. There is something beautiful about the giving and receiving in a relationship. There is something magical about the intimacy that is created through this transaction. You can’t have one without the other. What a model for us.

Our culture today says to be in “need”, is to be less than, unstable, disadvantaged, irresponsible and weak. This unfortunate definition has led to a revolution of control and independency. Longer term, the outcome has created not only an age of anxiety, but of hopelessness, isolation, loneliness and disappointment.

Jesus came as a baby. He was vulnerable, needing food, comfort, his diaper changed, warmth, love and a safe place to rest. Mary was the woman chosen by God to be a steward of this precious gift. The important call was placed on her life. Imagine if she didn’t step up to this kingdom task. What if she didn’t assume her role as the saviors’ mother? What if she didn’t care for the needs of Jesus?

This made me think of the call we have on our lives. I was thinking about this last night as I was driving through the canyon. There are significant times in our lives when we have to step up and make a decision that will affect the course of our lives greatly. Since we have free will, the choices we make will set a course having a particular impact either for good, bad or worst yet mediocre. I would rather make the wrong choice and have to get back to God’s best will, then to never a make a choice and live a stale life of apathy. Apathy is a deadly weight to a life of faith.

Mary chose to care for her needy baby. She gave until he was able to care for the needs of the world. He not only had compassion for those in need, he had the authority and ability to completely remove the need all together. This is the Jesus I live for. I need him. I am not ashamed to call him my Lord. If it weren’t for Jesus, I would look at the deck of cards that have been dealt to me and give up. It’s ONLY because of Jesus I have hope for an amazing history in the making.

Jesus- a baby, a savior and history maker. Much cause for celebration and hope today!

SIT, RUN, STAND!

Sit, Run, Stand


This morning was amazing at church. I have been attending a new gospel church. I am the only white girl and I LOVE it! The room is filled with blacks, Latinos, old ladies, kids, and single parents. We are all so different, yet we have one thing in common-Jesus. I have been drawn to this church for the last three weeks because I sense the people there are alive. When people are alive you know they are expectant. You are only expectant if you have encountered Jesus. Each person actually engages and participates in the service. I hear “amen”, “preach it”, “you go” one woman shouted when the pastor was on a roll and “that’s right” when there is a truth about God preached. LOVE IT! There is nothing fancy or programmatic about this church at all. We meet in a vet’s hall and have to put our chair away when we leave. There is something raw and fresh about it.

Anyhow, today as the preacher was going off about different prophecies and fulfillments of the Messiah, the Lord was speaking to me, on the side, about my personal posture or position before him. I scribbled down three words-SIT, RUN, STAND.

I didn’t really know why those words came to me. Yet, as the service went on I kept writing other things down. So I wanted to share some of the thoughts I had and hope this is encourages someone.

SIT- sitting before the Lord is an important practice because it implies that you are not going anywhere and are ready to converse. In the sitting position one can listen for direction in life. It is in this place of waiting where we are able to gaze or fix our eyes on Jesus. Sitting gives us rest for the mobility needed in the future. If we do not sit, rest, wait and listen the next two I will share about will be a LOT harder.

RUN- going from a rested and rejuvenated place of sitting we are now ready to set coarse. This coarse is set in the place of sitting. RUNNING and trying figure out the coarse is not the best idea. You can do it that way, but if you know the coarse you can run a lot harder toward the goal. There is always a point during a run that you have to persevere. That is when what was revealed to you in the time of sitting kicks in. So often we run haphazardly because we are trying to run as fast as we can and listen for direction at the same time. This can work from time to time, but why add more anxiety then needed.

STAND- there’s times during our journey when we need to stand. We need to stand FIRM and we need to stand in the AUTHORITY given to us. Standing is always forward movement. Standing is a mindset. What you believe about God and what you believe about yourself in relation to what have been given is everything. Standing firm and standing in authority can be done in the either sitting or running position.

In the flow of a typical day we may encounter special moments within each posture. You need all three. I spent many years just running, many more sitting and others standing. What I’ve found is that the seasons when I am AWARE of all three, I see power. I see favor. And I see transformation at whole new levels.

SIT, RUN, STAND three simple, yet revolutionary words.

real or imagined?

I have been really thinking a lot lately about how I respond to situations in life. Am I a reactionary person or a woman of peace and trust? Do I live in “hypotheticals” or in reality? What am I really responding to anyway?

Being a visionary and a thinker I find it extremely difficult to stay out of the world of hypotheticals. When I am not in check, this can become the disease of introspection.

Thinking and envisioning are not bad as long as each line of thought is based on what is actually true. So how does one marry past experience, discernment, wisdom and reality with an honest response to the situation at hand? The only thing I can think of, right now, is to see how you feel about it. If there is anxiousness, unrest or a lack of peace it’s probably rooted in fear because of a hypothetical scenario you’ve created in your mind. In times like this, I have to stop and ask myself what the real story is, what the real facts are and then start all over in my thinking.

So many Christians over spiritualize the scenario at this point. In this juncture of my life and spiritual journey I have found MOST of the time I have lack of peace it wasn’t from God at all it was my own fear controlling the situation. Ultimately, my hypothetical scenario won again.

So the challenge- live in reality. Become aware of the deeper things going on in your heart and mind. Take risks. Hypothetically speaking, stretch your comfort zone and go to the places you’ve never gone before. Don’t live in fear, but move forward with courage. It’s attractive.